I, Donald Trump, am Bought and Paid For

by Wayne Flaherty

Yes, it's true. I am bought and paid for and Hillary Clinton is bought and paid for.

The similarity ends there.

Hillary is bought and paid for by the financiers of Wall Street.  She is bought and paid for by foreign countries. She is bought and paid for by big time donors to the Clinton Foundation. We know some of what she has done for her owners, but we know nothing about the majority of promises she has made to them in exchange for her 30 pieces of silver. In just 8 short years, she went from dead broke and in debt, to a net worth in excess of $100 million. Like Judas, she exchanged her very soul for cash.

  On the other hand, I am bought and paid for by you, the people of America. In exchange for your support, I promise you the following:

1.     I promise to rebuild your military to insure your safety from foreign aggressors.

2.     I promise to join with NATO and other nations to defeat ISIS.

3.     I promise to protect you from unknown refugee populations until I can insure your safety.

4.     I promise to deal fairly with our friendly nations to restore their respect for America.

5.     I promise to deal with our enemies in a way that they, too, will respect us.

6.     I promise to strengthen your local law enforcement agencies

7.     I promise to set America on the path to fiscal responsibility.

8.     I promise to work tirelessly to create jobs for you.

9.     I promise to renegotiate foreign trade agreements to bring jobs back to America.

10.  I promise to make your government accountable to you.  

11.  I promise to build a wall on our southern border to protect you from illegal immigrants.

12.  I promise to lift the burden of regulations that strangle business incentive.

13.  I promise to repeal Obamacare with its skyrocketing costs.

14.  I promise to get the IRS off your backs.

15.  I promise to repeal the Inheritance Tax that steals your money by taxing you twice.

16.  I promise to never knowingly bring harm to you.

I am proud to be owned by you, the citizens of the greatest country in the world. I will work tirelessly to remove government obstacles from your path - as it is you who will Make America Great Again. Together, we will restore the nation that our forefathers fought and died for.